Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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