i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
