my vag is so smooth its legendary
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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