I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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