my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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