Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
