just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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