# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
