no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
