I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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