idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize