Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
