He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
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