At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
