He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
