you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
This baby is an asshole
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
