i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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