At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
