carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
