He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He? As in you personified your dick?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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