My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
