That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
