do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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