If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize