were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
