just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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