She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
