We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
