btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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