i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize