i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
