i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
