i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
