3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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