When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
