hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
