Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
