I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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