so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize