Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
