If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
