it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize