i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
