she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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