Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
