We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We just shotgunned beers for America
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
