There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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