I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
