And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Do you still have your period?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
