this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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