Me. At least after what I've been through.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
