Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize