so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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