i was rollin on her like bob the builder
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
