Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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