Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
