A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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