my mouth tastes like poor choices
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
