Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
