hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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