what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
