I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
