I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
