At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
